Saturday, 4 June 2011


Taliban’s (aka Taliblonde) chief, Dron-ul-Islam, in a statement from an undisclosed mountain, vowed to carry out attacks on the unjustified and unholy removal of Pakistan’s One Day International skipper Shahid Afridi.The Taliban chief hinted that he had credible evidence that the decision by the Pakistan CricketBoard (PCB) authorities was taken after long and hectic consultations with the Central IntelligenceAgency (CIA). Talking to this scribe, the Taliban boss said, “The removal of Afridi is unjustified, he is a true Muslim and a true Pakistani, we will carry out peroxide attacks on PCB”.Meanwhile, the sacked skipper has also gained support from Taliban supreme leader Mullah Bush, who has also promised to attack all anti-Afridi forces including, Mohammad Ilyas (not Kashmiri) and Misbah-ul-Haq.Bush, who is a known fan of Afridi, is believed to  be going through a period of depression ever since the news of Afridi’s retirement reached his hideout somewhere deep in Texas.According to the CIA, its spy satellites have taken pictures, indicating a massive cricket ground being built in Wana (not the WACA). It is believed that the Taliban are preparing to launch a cricket league of their own, which is expected to attract more fans than the Infidel Premier League (IPL).Insiders within the terrorist group acknowledged the CIA findings and insisted that they had already booked Afridi along with other international players to play in their league.  While Taliban sources refused to disclose the name of their league, our scribe has learned that the league will be known as the Invisible Cricketers and Soldiers of Islam (ICSI).Meanwhile, the Chairman PCB, Ijaz Butt, has rubbished the latest Taliban threat and insisted he will continue to have halal food on his desk. He challenged, Bush to penetrate the defences of the cricket facilities in the country with peroxide attacks.Pakistan’s Interior Monkey, Rehman Malik, has warned the Taliban not to carry out attacks and has assured the angered leaders that he will use his influence to convince Ijaz Butt to eat bananas and reinstate Afridi.On the other hand, Rehman has requested the US to constantly monitor all cricket stadiums in Pakistan with drones. The Interior Monkey feels that cricket players and fans will feel safe knowing drones are flying overhead.Meanwhile, the Afridi tribe has also given the PCB an ultimatum of ten days to reinstate Afridi, or, else they will have no other option but to join the Taliban in their fight against this unlawful act by the unlawful cricket governing body of Pakistan.“We feel it is a disgrace to our tribe, we will not rest until Shahid is handed his captaincy back”, said an elderly tribesman.However, there are some reports suggesting that Butt is ready to fight fire with fire for which he has asked the Prime Monkey, Yousaf Raza Gilani, to divert a chunk of USAID to a pro-Ijaz terror outfit in Lahore, which is believed to have fighters capable enough to take on the pro-Afridi Taliban.The founder ofhis small but effective terror outfit, Mohammad Ilyas (not Kashmiri) in a statement insisted that he will not rest until Afridi publically apologizes, or, then becomes Shaheed Shahid Khan Afridi.Afridi and Waqar Younis while playing golf together in Lahore refused to give any statements regarding the recent developments.Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The views and opinions expressed in this article do not represent’s editorial policy. t

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